Amateur News Network 7

South Africa’s third ever 24/7 news channel launches, and, well…sometimes the news just writes the poetry for me. (See here, here, here, and here)

What does the “7” stand for?

From the great ‘Mother-City‘,
Of Johannesburg, SA,
A news network channel began to play.
Broadcasting hard-hitting news,
Of ‘weepons‘ in Syria,
And a DNA bill,
To capture ‘criminals easia‘.

They’re ‘not old farts‘, though,
Which would count in their favour,
If their ‘pollutal‘ ‘tenornations‘,
Weren’t ‘unaccepteble‘ behaviour.
At least for these glitches,
They have a whole year to fix,
Just in time for the next annual ‘Grand Pricks‘.

It seems odd though that a company,
That thrives on speech that is free,
Can try to ban derogatory viral videos.
Is that not called hypocrisy?
There can be no excuse, when you hire models to cut corners,
Instead of paying a little extra,
For just a few literate reporters.

-Kellan Botha

*Update: A head ANN7 Manager who resigned recently claims to be on the run from his Gupta employers’ armed bodyguard*

This spelling is ‘unaccepteble’
Yes, because nothing says “youthful exuberance” like having no experience whatsoever.

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